Heyyyyy. It’s been a while. I studied in Madrid in 2019 and had a successful hoe phase. I went to a Bernie rally. I got into my first serious relationship this past year. I got a new retro-looking bicycle. I learned to run a mile. I started a digital illustration hobby. I made new friends. I moved apartments. Oh, and I graduated university in the middle of a global pandemic!
Here’s where I’m at. It’s that freeing feeling of “I’m graduated now, I can do whatever I want for the first time in my life (money permitting)!” But then that freedom is cut short because there’s still a virus and the U.S. is doing fuck-all to contain it. God I need to get out of here. And I miss France.
In September I was supposed to go to Costa Rica for about two weeks with Kristen and Siya from Hopscotch the Globe but of course this got postponed…so I’m still going just, you know, in a year.
Of course upon graduating I was unemployed. The harsh reality of life in addition to a pandemic means a lot of LinkedIn articles popping up about “CEO of this or that gives new graduates career advice during COVID” like okay, I appreciate that but this is a literally unprecedented time and no CEO of anything is gonna have the answers for me specifically. It’s frustrating. I lost the two summer jobs I had lined up, continuing a research position for a professor as well as working at the university library. I didn’t do much all summer besides go to the beach, spend money, gain weight and become an alcoholic.
But I can’t complain that much. I am extremely lucky and privileged. I didn’t go on unemployment when I probably could have, I was still able to pay rent and I managed to do some contract work. All my friends and family are healthy, I was not affected by loss due to the virus unlike some of my friends. I was living in Vermont, where the virus was best contained. And I had my boyfriend to cuddle and take me on motorcycle rides.
I still feel in limbo, and I’m not the only one. I had plans, but now I can’t even make new ones. I have a well-paying temp job, but it’s not stimulating. I’m seated all day, and I can’t exercise. I’m more self-conscious about my appearance than I have ever been. I want to travel, but I can’t. I need a “real” job. I need to get my driver’s license.
All the while I’m sticking around in Vermont because my boyfriend lives here and he deploys to Qatar at the end of 2020. Again, Vermont is the best place to be right now as the risk of infection/transmission is very low. I’m trying to enjoy the time I have with him but I do feel stagnant, which is a feeling that is mostly beyond my control.
I do want to bring this blog back from the dead though. I can’t believe my last post was two years ago! I’m sorry 😦 Maybe while I wait around in limbo I can write about Spain. I have a LOT to write about…
Anyway, thanks for reading this far.